7. SEVEN. 7.

first post of the new year...i couldn't wait:



ONLY SEVEN MORE DAYS OF BUSH!!!!!!!


count'em.

rising gas prices? shut the hell up.

Riding shotgun into town today, I noticed a normal amount of "rush hour" (I hesitate using this word in Madison, WI - a city of 543,000, sorry) traffic for a morning commute from the West side. I also noticed the number of sport utility vehicles and trucks - 47; along with the number of cars - 70+ along with four Madison Metro busses. Among all of these vehicles minus the buses, there were only two (cars, to be specific) that had more than one passenger in them - this includes the car that my girlfriend and I were occupying. So one other car, with two people - which means 98% of the vehicles within eyesight transported only the driver. Pretty awesome, right?


How about this - let's say the average passenger capacity (including the driver) per vehicle is five - a happy medium between 2-4 passenger compact cars/trucks and 6-8 passenger s.u.v.s and etc. This means the vehicles on the road this morning (minus the buses) had approximately 474 open seats, unused and unoccupied. Three of those seats were attributed to the vehicle my girlfriend and I occupied - which is a Prius, which means we're both very environmentally conscious, enjoy eating granola, and put weed in our farm fresh salads which is followed by a second course of organic vegetarian burritos, Cheetos, and for the sake of rhyming, Doritos.


474 open seats. Wild. I could relate this number to filling an auditorium or small sports arena, but I won't. Instead, we can think of the number of open seats to the number of occupants in a similar fashion to the total number of Facebook friends you have to those friends you actually speak with or see on a daily basis. HAZZZA!


Anyway, I am assuming those "solo" drivers aren't complaining about high gas prices - they better not. Nobody except business owners and workers whose operation/occupation rely on transporting goods in large quantities or services should be complaining (e.g. airline companies, farmers. the post office...).


Some of us are too quick to complain before considering a change in lifestyle - the options are obvious and most of us know about them, but still take the car to work, church, the gym (ha!), or even to go on bike rides (which is totally uncalled for unless you are riding with adolescents who shouldn't ride in
traffic).


I saw in the local news the other night (on at 4pm, 5pm, 6pm, 9pm, and 10pm) that Bullworth Gillette Kronkite (not his actual name) spends $58 to fill up his s.u.v. and does so THREE TIME A WEEK! Now for a lame comparison (but awesome at the same time, you'll see): with that much saved, you could by this* in just over 4 months! It's awesome because it would take 6 months if you were paying retail.

This Newsweek article by Keith Naughton is quite good and discusses this subject quite squarely. Here is another article by the same author that has somewhat inspired this post. I never really try to read more than I need to, so in case you don't click on them, here's the good stuff:

The fact is, as much as we gripe about gas prices, we're pumping just as much of the precious liquid into our tanks as ever. Every day in America we burn through 391 million gallons of motor fuel. That burn rate is the same as last year, when gas prices were 70 cents per gallon lower. And gas consumption is up 18 percent from a decade ago. The federal Energy Information Administration just predicted we would finally begin to curb our consumption this year for the first time since 1991—by an underwhelming 0.3 percent.

I am not posting this to show you all that I am "green" or going to "enviro heaven" - which I assume is similar to having your remains mulched with fertilizer and humus (which I hear is great for retaining moisture for your potted plants) after being donated to "science," of course. I simply enjoy commuting with my bike and only need my car about once a week - which is awesome since I only need an oil change about once a year and not awesome because my battery is always low due to the lack of use/charge.


So, ride a bike, take the bus, ask a few of those Facebook friends you've made through work if they want to carpool (make sure to poke them if they say yes!). If you ever hear me complaining about gas prices to you, it will be because I am setting up an exit from our meeting and not wasting the time to set you straight - also notice how I won't make much eye contact, promise to call you or meet up soon, and roll my eyes once I turn away from you.








*If any of you want to communicate something to me, but are having a hard time coming up with something to say - you can effectively say "Good work, Ed" with a seal or statement of authenticity and this item. Thanks, in advance!

whale watching is far superior to bird watching

Hawaii is nice. I'm sitting here on the patio of our ocean side condo, trying to decide if I prefer the Pacific Ocean over the Atlantic. It's taken me a few years to actually appreciate the ocean - I guess I'm more of a super serene, super quiet mountain guy (think Aspen or Banff without the rich folk and the colored people serving them). I guess Hawaii has the best of both since it is a group of submerged volcanoes, but I think it's safe to say that most people here spend more time on the beach than they do in the volcano.


So I'm out here with my girlfriend's family (minus a few key members) on Maui, making the most of the weather, and enjoying the escape from the Midwestern snow and suck. I'm supposed to do a whole post on her, something like a "Celebration of Liz," but I'm afraid it will:
1) piss off the tens of tens (opposed to white people's tens of thousands current readers) - minus one
2) deter potential subscribers to this fine online publication
3) never be good enough - in other words, incomplete and insufficient - to one particular reader's expectations


So, I'll drop a blurb about our wild and unique relationship. Unlike most couples, we never fight or argue. Also, we spend our weekends at the zoo, mimicking the apes by picking the bugs out of our mate's hair and then eating them. I'm not trying to boast or show you that my relationship is better than yours, but, in fact, it is.


We've been dating for about five years (not really sure, but she isn't either, which makes it ok), will potentially get married in another five (if I'm still alive and if she has a new attraction to diabetics), and will give our kids up for adoption and use the money to adopt children from another country. Hopefully this kid will be able to speak in his/her native tongue so I can learn new languages; perhaps a child from France or Uzbekistan, and most definitely two or three Himalayan Whistle children.


Many young couples see themselves with their mates traveling the world, growing old, and then residing in a location similar to where I am now. Not us. I see myself at age seventy-three, rushing through my tasks at the café and punching out early, racing home in my dad's car but feeling clever about having already packed the suitcase, picking Liz up from our three bedroom apartment (pre-furnished), driving down to Chicago, and meeting our serial killer son for a taping of Jerry Springer with his Polynesian girlfriend and our Afro-Asian-American grandson...and their Kenyan babysitter.



So, stop pitying yourself if you see your future being dismal or incomplete - start setting goals like we have and you'll be bound for potential or partial happiness. Stop being a Charlie Brown and put on a "Joan Rivers" face.


In other news, I'm trekking to Korea two short days after my return from Hawaii - going to eat some food, see some fam, take an audition, and then swallow and eat more food. I'd like to focus my next post on classical music, and how to get you all interested. It would help if you could leave a comment about why you feel it's difficult to find an interest, or even access classical music.

respek.

a better way to keep in touch

I am proud to introduce to you (drum roll "berhrhrhrh") the Coco Chanel Phone! Er..excuse me, its given name is the "Chanel Choco Phone" and comes with a hidden keypad and screen. It hasn't been stamped with a price tag or a carrier yet, but who cares! Nobody threw any bones about the Apple iphone and At&t collaboration - and everyone jumped to their local Dolce & Gabbana to pick up the 18k gold Motorola Razr with a beautiful D&G stamp! My theory is that Chanel's brand loyal consumers have been asking for a phone that can squeeze (via the hinge connecting the screen and keypad/body) the fat out of high society's not-so-gourmet foods (e.g. hot dogs, White Castle).

So, if you're "sitting pretty in the Hampty Hamps," throw on some tights, Uggs, plush dog hair fur, and the biggest sunglasses you can find (preferably CC), rev up the Range Rover that your husband bought for you, and take that 10min. drive to the Burger King on County Road 39 outside Southampton. No shame.

Here are some more images. You're probably dying to get one.

alpha. genesis. 1개. whatever you like.

I've been wanting to do this for a while. (everybody. else. is.)


After attending a recent lecture given by pop culture journalist Chuck Klosterman, I was moved by his statement on the current status of our celebrities. He mentioned how the bar to be considered a celebrity has been greatly lowered in the past fifteen years and also spoke of our guilty pleasures in watching reality television (but not me. no. i never watch that stuff).


Chuckles explained why many viewers of reality shows enjoy the programs. First, the viewer relates to particular reality "actors" (there has to be a better word - my apologies) and sees these people as being famous due to their presence on television, and finally, they can consider themselves as being famous. Klosterman then spoke of how blogs, myspace, and facebook create similar situations where others can read about one's life or personality(ies) and in return, feel famous.


There you go. I want to be famous. If I had my way, I would be a rock star. ugh...


After doing some research on the blogs of close friends, blogs of businesses of close friends, and blogs with large readership, of whom I'd like to consider friends, I found many not starting their online sagas with proper introductions or prefaces. So, here is who i is. I'll try and keep it brief.


I am the product of two first generation physicians, my father making a ten year layover in Sao Paulo, Brazil where he didn't speak Portugese or...go to high school. That's right, Korean elementary to Brazilian medical school. But don't be impressed, he had to spend one year learning the language, and then a few working at a grocery store so he could save money, not for school, but to help feed the family. So, from that, you can probably guess what my childhood was like.


The mom and pops set my life up for med school, kids, hard earned but big dollars with a big house (with my parents living upstairs), a couple cars, and maybe golfing on the weekends. Typical Korean dreaming.


As of this morning, I am a street scholar with a bachelor of music degree and a twice-per-week cafe job. Salary? Health insurance? Sorry, we haven't gone over those words yet in ESL class. So far I know "tips" and for some reason I'm out five hundred bucks every "first of the month."


So here's a start to something great. Fame? Personal venting? Creative writing?



sure.