when you're rolling into first and your pants are 'bout to burst...

Have you ever read the book Everybody Poops? Well, in case you're in denial, everybody poops, even girls. Now, have you ever thought you could poop in style?


Well now you can!! DING DING DING DING DING!


Presenting the Neorest 600 by Japanese bathroom appliance giant, Toto!




The Neorest 600 features a sleek, tankless, one-piece toilet with an integrated "washlet" (i.e. bidet). This Japanese masterpiece is a must have for both carnivores and vegetarians! A full electronic "dashboard" is located on the side of this sofa - within reach of those who are handicapped or hung over. The lid has an automatic sensor which opens the lid when you walk into the bathroom and closes when you are finished! The wash system also lets you choose the temperature of the water splashing your sweet cheeks (from the front or back), automatically blow dries your underside, and even poofs you with a deodorizer


Japan could be considered the toilet nation of the world (South Korea coming in at a close second, still a superior overall country to Japan, when compared). Over 60% of homes in Japan have computer automated toilets. Japan even celebrates Toilet Day on November 10! Other toilet "bling" not found on the Neorest 600 range from mp3 players to urine and blood pressure analyzers. One in particular, called the Sound Princess, makes tinkling sounds to mask your uncouth sonic emissions.


So, save up about $5,980, although I found some at Faucet Depot for $3500 in six different colors, including black! A bit pricey, but don't we deserve to poop like kings? On a personal note, if my life ends without ever owning this toilet, I will die knowing that I have not lived well. And think of all the paper you can save!