prop8

so a lot has happened since this overdue post (no apologies). america elected president obama. alaskan sen. ted stevens lost his seat but may have retained his stained glass windows. bradbury's and co. took a trip to viroqua, wi to do a cupping and meet the talent behind kickapoo coffee (and drink beer in a cemetery). on a lower key, i took an audition in d.c. - i would have told you if i won, so keep to your seat.

on a similarly sad note, california dropped the ball and prop 8 passed, banning same-sex marriages. i know it has been almost a month since the election, but this is still bothering me.

a good friend of mine turned me onto this editorial by mr. keith olbermann...





as always, mr. olby is emotional and gushy - but he says it right. it is inconceivable how america can elect a black man as its executive, but can't allow gays and lesbians equal rights as everyone else.

he also talks about love. something that supporters of prop8 seem to disregard. when he discusses sham marriages and forced marriages, i couldn't help but think of sarah palin's pregnant daughter, bristol. throughout september, the palin-mccain't campaign said that bristol would get married to the father of her child. true love.

if a 17 year old nobody is forced into a marriage by her parents due to a pregnancy ignited by "hey, i think you're pretty, let's take a study break...", then who could possibly stand in the way of two professionals who contribute to their communities, who are seeking a same-sex marriage? or a lesbian retired couple who have been together for over sixty years, who go to church, and are seeking the spousal rights that are missing from civil unions that marriage offers?


ugh.

VOTE, sucka!

Register online to vote here or find out how to register in your area here.


All you fools in Madison who are lost, get it on here.


Pay attention to tomorrow night's debate, Joe Biden v. Sarah Palin. If you have any inclination to vote for McCan't, be wise and check her out since she might grab a hold of the reigns if John....dies.


I am voting for Barack Obama.

re.up

there is no better time to restart a blog than birthday time. so here goes.

i'd first like to show appreciation to facebook for the well-wishes, and if any admin are reading this, i am having a fine day, thanks.

so yours truly, the overfed musician who is starting year three off of health insurance, is turning 24.


24!


that means i am no longer anything less than 24. with less and less [hair] to look forward to, i can only imagine what this year holds for me. i don't want to annoy readers with philosophical banter or anything that depressing, but it's hard to see life progressing on the "up and up" (don't ask me what "up and up" means, i heard a proficient english speaker use it, so i feel as if that was safe).


many of us probably feel like our lives are pretty level, meaning that there aren't any huge moments of excitement or devastation. there are those who think that things are really going in their favor - but befriending someone like that is just as bad as befriending one who is always depressed. the only exception to the previous is charlie brown.


i would totally befriend charlie brown. oh good grief!


now that'll be 5 cents please.

pooped.

Enough toilet talk. I was pretty busy today with Euro 2008 and some Madison Symphony Orchestra drama. I'd like to see the Netherlands play Spain in the finals - as for MSO, I just want to play and get paid.


I ate some ramen today! It's been a week point five since I last indulged and over-ate [this is a big deal - similar to smokers reaching the one week mark]. Ramen wouldn't be such a big part of my diet if it wasn't so good - it's the closest and cheapest grub I can get to eating Korean food. It gives me an opportunity to pull out the kimchi and rice, and carbo-load for broke! Shin-ramyun is where it is at!



So here is a short list of what I need to do before....soon.
-Figure out my future (school in fall? what would I study? work?)
-Figure out where I'm going to live
-Call my parents


I anticipate some procrastination - you'll probably find me doing the following:
-Playing trumpet
-Playing tennis
-Riding bike
-Developing my soccer skills
-Eating less ramen - for at least for two weeks
-Converting some long denim into cutoffs - which I will wear for all of the above!


The weather is finally improving after numerous storms and floods - I hate how discussion of recent and current weather is a default when both conversationalists and bloggers run out of fresh ideas. So, for today, I quit.

Go Spain!

when you're rolling into first and your pants are 'bout to burst...

Have you ever read the book Everybody Poops? Well, in case you're in denial, everybody poops, even girls. Now, have you ever thought you could poop in style?


Well now you can!! DING DING DING DING DING!


Presenting the Neorest 600 by Japanese bathroom appliance giant, Toto!




The Neorest 600 features a sleek, tankless, one-piece toilet with an integrated "washlet" (i.e. bidet). This Japanese masterpiece is a must have for both carnivores and vegetarians! A full electronic "dashboard" is located on the side of this sofa - within reach of those who are handicapped or hung over. The lid has an automatic sensor which opens the lid when you walk into the bathroom and closes when you are finished! The wash system also lets you choose the temperature of the water splashing your sweet cheeks (from the front or back), automatically blow dries your underside, and even poofs you with a deodorizer


Japan could be considered the toilet nation of the world (South Korea coming in at a close second, still a superior overall country to Japan, when compared). Over 60% of homes in Japan have computer automated toilets. Japan even celebrates Toilet Day on November 10! Other toilet "bling" not found on the Neorest 600 range from mp3 players to urine and blood pressure analyzers. One in particular, called the Sound Princess, makes tinkling sounds to mask your uncouth sonic emissions.


So, save up about $5,980, although I found some at Faucet Depot for $3500 in six different colors, including black! A bit pricey, but don't we deserve to poop like kings? On a personal note, if my life ends without ever owning this toilet, I will die knowing that I have not lived well. And think of all the paper you can save!

batman is to robin as toilet is to ___________

[i know this is a day late - my lady-friend can vouch as a witness seeing that we were both outside a cafe last night at 11pm trying to find a wireless connection. people who live on the west side shouldn't be poor, or not have internet. gawd. now for the good stuff...]



The humidity if finally here! Don't you hate being poor and without air conditioning? Trying to go to bed on top of your covers, just drenched in your own perspiration? Or how about a long night of drinking followed by a stop at Taco Bell or that 24hr. Indian curry joint, and then trying to go to bed, in the same humidity... After a month-long escapade to Brazil last year, I discovered the next best thing to air conditioning. The bidet.


A splash in the butt has never been so refreshing!


It's like sitting on an ice cold bike seat, but better. Now, I don't want you all thinking that I do weird stuff to my butt, I'm just passing this information on to those who have the opportunity to use a bidet. I personally do not own one [and I don't manually recreate the experience either!].


So, the bidet is the French word for pony - so saddle up when you use one, and make sure to use one hand to hold the reigns, the other to keep your cowboy hat on, and remember to also use horse commands like "heeyah" or "whoa girl."


Wikipedia says that "bidets are primarily used to wash and clean the genitalia, inner buttocks, and anus." Now, this being a very well reputable source, we could probably just go with it - but for you scholars out there, I would find another source to confirm the quoted statement. Most of us probably already knew this information, but one thing that caught my attention is the some people use bidets to wash their feet. Neat!


Wikipedia then goes on to teach us that there may be some American resistance to bidet usage. One reason hypothesizes that WWII soldiers first introduced to bidets in French brothels found bidets unsanitary due to the notion of prostitutes using them to douche after sexual intercourse.


So, for all of you environmental conservatives (sounds awful, doesn't it?), we can save paper and water [and feel great] if we start putting bidets in our houses and public restrooms.


Tomorrow, I will present you all with a double bonus bathroom companion. Look out for this item on my wedding registry and in my future 5 bedroom house (ONE bath). Either way, I do plan on owning a bidet, and if any of you are so fortunate to be invited to my future home (you'll be able to park in either my heated, underground garage, or my swimming pool, emptied by the DEA and FBI after they find out I've been dumping it and then just throwing $300/person pool parties), please don't pee in the bidet - that's the second worst possible thing you could do.


So next time you're trying to pull an all-nighter, quit drinking the coffee and turn off the loud music. Just take a quick 20 minute, ice cold bidet break and you'll be forced to be focused. You might not be able to sit after following my directions, so make sure to set aside some work or studies you can perform while standing. Also, if you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours, call your doctor.

rising gas prices? shut the hell up.

Riding shotgun into town today, I noticed a normal amount of "rush hour" (I hesitate using this word in Madison, WI - a city of 543,000, sorry) traffic for a morning commute from the West side. I also noticed the number of sport utility vehicles and trucks - 47; along with the number of cars - 70+ along with four Madison Metro busses. Among all of these vehicles minus the buses, there were only two (cars, to be specific) that had more than one passenger in them - this includes the car that my girlfriend and I were occupying. So one other car, with two people - which means 98% of the vehicles within eyesight transported only the driver. Pretty awesome, right?


How about this - let's say the average passenger capacity (including the driver) per vehicle is five - a happy medium between 2-4 passenger compact cars/trucks and 6-8 passenger s.u.v.s and etc. This means the vehicles on the road this morning (minus the buses) had approximately 474 open seats, unused and unoccupied. Three of those seats were attributed to the vehicle my girlfriend and I occupied - which is a Prius, which means we're both very environmentally conscious, enjoy eating granola, and put weed in our farm fresh salads which is followed by a second course of organic vegetarian burritos, Cheetos, and for the sake of rhyming, Doritos.


474 open seats. Wild. I could relate this number to filling an auditorium or small sports arena, but I won't. Instead, we can think of the number of open seats to the number of occupants in a similar fashion to the total number of Facebook friends you have to those friends you actually speak with or see on a daily basis. HAZZZA!


Anyway, I am assuming those "solo" drivers aren't complaining about high gas prices - they better not. Nobody except business owners and workers whose operation/occupation rely on transporting goods in large quantities or services should be complaining (e.g. airline companies, farmers. the post office...).


Some of us are too quick to complain before considering a change in lifestyle - the options are obvious and most of us know about them, but still take the car to work, church, the gym (ha!), or even to go on bike rides (which is totally uncalled for unless you are riding with adolescents who shouldn't ride in
traffic).


I saw in the local news the other night (on at 4pm, 5pm, 6pm, 9pm, and 10pm) that Bullworth Gillette Kronkite (not his actual name) spends $58 to fill up his s.u.v. and does so THREE TIME A WEEK! Now for a lame comparison (but awesome at the same time, you'll see): with that much saved, you could by this* in just over 4 months! It's awesome because it would take 6 months if you were paying retail.

This Newsweek article by Keith Naughton is quite good and discusses this subject quite squarely. Here is another article by the same author that has somewhat inspired this post. I never really try to read more than I need to, so in case you don't click on them, here's the good stuff:

The fact is, as much as we gripe about gas prices, we're pumping just as much of the precious liquid into our tanks as ever. Every day in America we burn through 391 million gallons of motor fuel. That burn rate is the same as last year, when gas prices were 70 cents per gallon lower. And gas consumption is up 18 percent from a decade ago. The federal Energy Information Administration just predicted we would finally begin to curb our consumption this year for the first time since 1991—by an underwhelming 0.3 percent.

I am not posting this to show you all that I am "green" or going to "enviro heaven" - which I assume is similar to having your remains mulched with fertilizer and humus (which I hear is great for retaining moisture for your potted plants) after being donated to "science," of course. I simply enjoy commuting with my bike and only need my car about once a week - which is awesome since I only need an oil change about once a year and not awesome because my battery is always low due to the lack of use/charge.


So, ride a bike, take the bus, ask a few of those Facebook friends you've made through work if they want to carpool (make sure to poke them if they say yes!). If you ever hear me complaining about gas prices to you, it will be because I am setting up an exit from our meeting and not wasting the time to set you straight - also notice how I won't make much eye contact, promise to call you or meet up soon, and roll my eyes once I turn away from you.








*If any of you want to communicate something to me, but are having a hard time coming up with something to say - you can effectively say "Good work, Ed" with a seal or statement of authenticity and this item. Thanks, in advance!